The Strifes and the Wallaces: Ep.1- Bigger Tifa
by CloudStryfe
Summary: This is the first episode of The Strifes and the Wallaces, it's called Bigger Tifa. Why doesn't Cloud like Tifa? Because he's married...but Tifa doesn't think that's the reason, what a dimwit!
1. The Beginning

The Strifes and the Wallaces  
  
  
OPENING THEME SONG  
  
The Strifes and the Wallaces,  
they live together,  
in their humble home.  
But this is where their annoying neighbor,  
SEPHIROTH,  
comes to roam.  
When they say,"GO HOME SEPHIROTH!",  
then he cries.  
They all hope he runs off a cliff and diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiies!  
YEAH!  
  


  
Episode 1: Bigger Tifa PART 1  
  
Note: Script form  
  
*Cloud awoke from his slumber to find his wife, Aeris, giving him breakfast in bed.  
  
Aeris: Good morning honey! I made you a special breakfast!  
  
*Cloud happily took the food.  
  
Cloud: Thanks Aeris! By the way, wheres Tifa? Shouldn'e she be knocking on our door right about now?  
  
Aeris: Hmmmmm...I don't know but, I have a strange feeling that we're being watched...  
  
*Tifa was standing in the middle of the room.  
  
Tifa: Uh-oh, I think they're onto me!  
  
*With that, Tifa jumped out the window.  
  
*Cloud finished his breakfast, and Aeris had gone before he started. So then he went downstairs and found everyone sitting at the dining table.  
  
Cloud: Didn't you all get breakfast already?  
  
*Barret turned around  
  
Barret: No, what makes you think that?  
  
Tifa: Yeah, we didn't get breakfast in bed like you did!  
  
*Cloud raised a brow  
  
Cloud: How'd you know I got breakfast in bed?  
  
*Tifa sat, dumbfound. Though that's not saying much.  
  
Tifa: I like limburger cheese!  
  
*Barret leaned down to Red XIII  
  
Barret: What Tifa lacks in intelligence, she makes up in breast size.  
  
Red XIII: ARF!  
  
*After about an hour, Aeris brought in everyone's breakfast.  
  
Aeris: Barret, heres your toast with strawberry jam, blueberry pancakes, and sun-side up eggs...just how you like em'! Red XII, here's your T-bone steak and dinosaur bone! Tifa, heres your rotton salmon with extra salt and pepper, used cat litter, and shampoo? And finally Sephiroth, heres your...HEY!  
  
*Everyone looked at Sephiroth  
  
Sephiroth: I see I am in time for breakfast!  
  
Everone except Tifa: GO HOME SEPHIROTH!  
  
Sephiroth: WAHHHHHHHH!!!! WHOA! HELP ME!!!  
  
Cloud: Well, that was easy...I'm gonna go for a morning walk.  
  
*Cloud walked out of the door and Tifa had an evil smile on her face.  
  
Barret: Uh-oh, she has that look again...okay, get the shovel.  
  
******************  
*Cloud walked along an alley way, pondering his thoughts, when there was a rustle in the bushes.  
  
Cloud: Who's there?!  
  
Tifa: MEEEE!  
  
*Tifa jumped out of the bushes.  
  
Cloud: Oh, it's just you. What're you doing here?  
  
Tifa: Oh...I was just in the neighborhood, and thought I'd visit an alley!  
  
Cloud: Rrrrrright...  
  
*Cloud continued to walk  
  
Tifa: Oh Cloud, you don't have to hide your feelings!  
  
Cloud: What?  
  
Tifa: You know you love me!  
  
Cloud: Wha...?  
  
*Tifa jumped on Cloud  
  
Tifa: CLOUD! LETS DO IT!  
  
Cloud: AHHHHHH!!!!  
  
*Cloud pushed Tifa off  
  
Cloud: I'm married! And so are you!  
  
*Tifa flopped on the floor  
  
Tifa: But Barret's black!  
  
Cloud: Ugh...besides, I'm not your type  
  
Tifa: I LOVE YOU!!!!!  
  
*Cloud ran as fast as he possibly could  
  
Tifa: It's not fair! Aeris is always the lucky one!  
  
*All of a sudden, a familiar voice spoke up  
  
Voice: I know why he doesn't like you......  
  
Tifa: Why? Why?  
  
Voice: Look down.  
  
*Tifa looked down  
  
Tifa: All I see are Virginia and Bobby!  
  
Voice: What?  
  
Tifa: Mah boobies!  
  
Voice: Ah, exactly. How would you like firmer, shaplier breasts?  
  
Tifa: Yes! That's why Cloud doesn't like me! I need bigger boobs!  
  
*Tifa ran off fast, saying her thank you's.  
  
*Then Sephiroth came out of the darkness  
  
Sephiroth: Then get Isis breast enhancement system! I love reading boxes!  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. The Surgery

The Strifes and the Wallaces  
  


Episode 1: Part 2  
  
  
We now continue, Bigger Tifa.  
  
Tifa: I have to get to the docter's for bigger jugs!  
  
******  
  
Cloud finally got back home, everyone had finished eating and Aeris had washed the dishes.  
  
Cloud: I ran into Tifa on my walk.  
  
Aeris: Really? What was she doing out there?  
  
Cloud: I dunno, probably smoking a joint or trying to get some kids to.  
  
Aeris: No, all her marajuana is in her cupboard.  
  
Cloud: You actually went into her room?  
  
Aeris: Well, I tryed to stay on Barret's side most of the time...Tifa's side had all these pictures of you on the wall.  
  
Cloud: Really? I wonder why?  
  
They pondered for a moment then Aeris looked at her watch.  
  
Aeris: Oh, time to feed Yuffie!  
  
Cloud: Oh yeah, go ahead. Lemme help, she might try to bite off your hand again.  
  
**********  
  
Tifa jumped into the docter's office.  
  
Docter: Tifa? What _are_ you doing...you don't have an appointment!  
  
Tifa: I know but, it's an emergency!  
  
Docter: Oh, it's about your boobs, isn't it?  
  
Tifa: Yes! They need to be enlargend!  
  
Docter: Uh-huh...what size this time?  
  
Tifa: Triple Z's  
  
Docter: T-t-t-triple Z-z's?  
  
Tifa: Yep you heard right...  
  
Docter: Alright! We need 1000 surgeons...NOW!  
  
Nurse: But most of them are working on heart surgery!  
  
Docter: I don't care! This is more important than any heart!  
  
**********  
  
Yuffie: MATERIA, MATERIA, MATERIA!  
  
Cloud: YUFFIE! Stop biting my fingers!  
  
Yuffie looked at Cloud's crotch.  
  
Yuffie: MATERIA!  
  
Aeris: Alright I'm getting the gun!  
  
Aeris takes out a tranq gun and shoots Yuffie.  
  
Aeris: All better!  
  
Cloud: Ya know, It gets me real hot when you act all tough like that.  
  
Aeris smiled.  
  
Aeris: Should we? Here and now?  
  
Cloud: YES!  
  
Aeris: OH CLOUD!  
  
**********  
  
The Docters looked way up high.  
  
Docter #548: I think I can see the top...  
  
Docter #990: Nope, that's just a seagull.  
  
Tifa: Am I ready?  
  
Docter: Oh yeah...HEY! GEORGE! GET DOWN FROM THERE!  
  
Tifa: Oh, it's alright.  
  
Tifa walked out of the room and out the front door.  
  
Docter #2: Those are some big boobs walking down da street.  
  
Docter #444: Hey! She didn't pay!  
  
Docter: No but, we had quite a time while she was knocked out! If ya know what I mean!  
  
Docter #712: Do you think she'll notice?  
  
Docter: No, we were wearing rubbers.  
  
**********  
  
Cloud got up, sweating.  
  
Cloud: Whoa...Aeris, your underwear is comfortable.  
  
Aeris: Geez......now I see why guys always have wedgies.  
  
There was a knock on the door.  
  
Aeris: Cloud, can you get that?  
  
Cloud: Sure.  
  
Cloud walked up to the living room and opened the door.  
  
Cloud: Hell....ooo...whoa-wh-who-wha!  
  
Tifa: Hi Cloud! Do you like the new me?!  
  
Cloud: Uhba-uhba-uhba-uhba...  
  
Tifa: Oh, your speechless! I can fix that!  
  
Then Tifa picked up Cloud and threw him in the front yard.  
  
Tifa: It's fun time!  
  
Cloud: Uhba-uhba-uhba


	3. The Ending

We now continue, Bigger Tifa. The third and final part.  
  
  
Aeris jumped out from the door.  
  
Aeris: Not-so-fast!  
  
Barret: Mojo-jojo!  
  
Aeris stared ar Barret.  
  
Aeris: Mojo jojo?  
  
Barret: Sorry, it's that gosh dang cartoon network!  
  
Aeris: Gosh dang?  
  
Barret: I'm trying to cut down on my swearing.  
  
Aeris: Yyyyyeah, whatever. Stop right there TIFA!  
  
Tifa: Never! Besides, I'm in mid-air!  
  
Aeris grabbed Barret.  
  
Aeris: C'mon!  
  
Aeris and Barret jumped under Tifa and tried with all their power to hold her up.  
  
Barret: Her boobs are too heavy! I can't hold them up much longer!  
  
Aeris: We need a miracle!  
  
Just then Sephiroth walked into the yard.  
  
Sephiroth: Oh...my pizza hurts...  
  
Aeris turned to Barret.  
  
Aeris: It'll have to do.  
  
Barret & Aeris: SEPHIROTH!  
  
Sephiroth: What? You're playing the tackle game without me?! BUNZAI!  
  
Sephiroth tackled Tifa off of Aeris and Barret.  
  
Tifa: You idiot!  
  
Sephiroth: Hey! That's a foul!  
  
Cloud: Uhba Uhba Uhba...  
  
Barret picked up Cloud.  
  
Aeris: Don't worry, Cloud, we'll get you out of here!  
  
They got inside and watched Sephiroth tackle with Tifa.  
  
Aeris: We can't just leave him out there! He'll be crushed!  
  
Cloud: So?  
  
Aeris: CLOUD!  
  
Cloud: Sorry...  
  
Barret: Wait! I have an idea!  
  
Barret put his gun-arm on.  
  
Cloud: You sure you wanna use that? You might be a little rusty.  
  
Barret: African-americans never forget!  
  
Barret jumped out the door and shot at Tifa's boobs.  
  
Barret: DIE!!!  
  
To Barret's surprise, the bullets did no effect so he jumped back inside.  
  
Barret: It didn't work!  
  
Cloud: Wait!  
  
Aeris: No way Cloud, it's too cruel!  
  
Cloud: Not for Tifa it isn't!  
  
Cloud walked outside with the Buster Sword in his hands.  
  
Cloud: Oh Tifa!  
  
Tifa: Huh! CLOUD!  
  
Tifa ran to Cloud and jumped.  
  
Barret: Uh-oh, here it comes! I can't watch!  
  
Cloud held his sword high up and used Omnislash.  
  
Cloud: COWABUNGA!  
  
Tifa's extra boob size flew everywhere.  
  
Tifa: NO!! Now Cloud doesn't like me anymore! *cries!*  
  
Sephiroth: Hey! We're not done playing yet!  
  
Then Sephiroth grabbed onto Tifa.  
  
Sephiroth: Cheesecake!  
  
Tifa: Get offa me you buffoon!  
  
Aeris, Barret and Cloud smiled at each other.  
  
A,B,C: Oh, Sephiroth?  
  
Sephiroth: Marble?  
  
A,B,C: Go home!  
  
Tifa: Uh-oh...  
  
Sephiroth: WAHHHHHHHHH!!! WHOA!!!  
  
Tifa: WHOOOAAA!!! CURSE YOU AERIS!  
  
Tifa's voice slowly faded away.  
  
All of a sudden, a large crowd of people and people with camcorders came.  
  
Announcer: So, you defeated Tifa's evil giant boobies! What are you gonna do now?  
  
Cloud: I'm gonna go home, and have sex with my wife!  
  
Then Cloud turned around and the screen froze.  
  
BUM BUM bum bum bum BUM!  
  


The Strifes and the Wallaces,  
they live together,  
in their humble home,  
but this is where their annoying neighbor,  
SEPHIROTH,  
comes to roam.  
When they say,  
"GO HOME SEPHIROTH!"  
then he crys.  
They all hope he falls off a cliff and diiiiiiiiiiiieeesss!


End file.
